This was written on April 28 as I sat beside my husband on the beach and my thoughts spilled out through the keys on my phone.
As I lounge in this beach chair and the sand slips between my toes at every move, I think of God. I think of how, like shifting sand, life changes, but He remains the same.
I’m contemplative this weekend of all that these days mean. A year ago today, on a quiet cobblestone road, I received the validation and sweet confirmation of a promise as I looked into the eyes of a man that loves me wholeheartedly – someone I once saw as most unlikely to be in God’s plan for me. Yet there he was on one knee, and my heart rejoiced.
A year ago tomorrow, I walked across the stage I never thought I would. It didn’t seem real in the moment, and I had no idea how it would change my heart. The place I called home for years suddenly placed in the category of a memory. Emptying my cozy dorm room, saying goodbye to precious friends, and feeling the very essence of a bittersweet shift in seasons.
Sunday is Mothers Day. My eyes shed with tears at the overflow of emotion from my heart as I ponder all it may mean to become a mother in 11 short weeks. I’m excited but hesitant, joyful but terrified. With so many unknowns and crippling fears swirling in my mind daily, it seems there’s so much weight to be carried.
In and out of each of these seasons, I’ve experienced the most intense and joyful validation of purpose, but faced the most terrifying realities I’ve ever known.
In the midst and on either side of a shift in season, there is God. Protecting me, guiding me, cheering me on, encouraging me, and loving me in His solid sameness.
See, I know there will always be sand that shifts — grains of white goodness slipping in and out of my life in the most unpredictable ways and times. But there is always God standing on the firm foundation of rock, welcoming my fears and questions with open arms and ready and willing to take on the weight of that I’m so tempted to carry alone. And all the time — in the beginning, in the thick of discomforting change, and to the end — He offers His comfort and hope of unfailing promise.
Gosh, I love Him for that.
Maybe you’re there today, too — in the unsteady rumble and messiness of change.
Maybe you need a hope to hold onto because everything seems so unsure, and maybe you’re not sure where to grip because it all you’ve known as familiar is slipping through your fingers.
Can I just say that you’re not alone? I’m there too, and whether you see it on the outside or not, I’m sure there are people around you in your everyday life that would say, “Yep. Change stinks.”
You, precious girl, are going to be stronger for this. And in the moments you feel weak and lonely and aggravated, there is someone that will be your stronghold and your strength if you’ll only let Him. He is sure, He is kind, and He is patient with the cries of your heart for sure sameness, and He will meet you in your most vulnerable places, offering to be a steady hand for you to grip as you hop across the unsteady and moveable stepping stones of life.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. – James 1:17 NIV, emphasis mine
Maybe you are wondering how to meet Him today, or maybe you know Him but haven’t talked to Him about the worries and wrestling of your heart.
Either way, I think there’s always a prayer we can lift up to our Father that loves us, asking Him to be near to our tired souls. Say it with me?
Thank you that, no matter what season we’re navigating in life, that we don’t have to go through it alone. You are always there to strengthen and protect and guide us along the way, if we’ll just let you. Thank you for never leaving our side even when we doubt your goodness.
I pray that you would be with me today in this season of change. As I shift from something known to something new, let my song still sing of your love and faithfulness each moment. I pray for strength when I’m tired. I pray that you’d go ahead of me just as you’re behind me, paving the way for your plan and purpose for this season. I pray that you would use this season to grow me in beautiful ways, so that I might look like your Son to those around me.
You are good. You are good to me. And you are so very good at being my faithful father.
It’s in Jesus’ name I pray these things, Amen.
You are loved, friend. And you will be better for the season you’re walking through.